Hey, smut fans. I’ve got some good news and some bad news for you. The bad news is I blew a bunch of money in the back room of the local titty bar. The good news is that the tight budget helped me get more intimately familiar with some of the free porno tubes out there. I recently cranked out a few to the collection over at VEPorns.com, and I’ve got some observations to share with you bunch of perverts.
The site is getting more than 16 million visits a month in its current incarnation, but you may have known VEPorns by one of its previous names. It was CEPorn, then VE-Porn, followed by VEPorn. They’ve never had a catchy name, and their header still calls it FXPorn. Despite their gross ineptitude at naming the site, they’ve managed to keep it going for a while now. VEPorns currently has around 30,000 sex movies ready to stream for free.
Very Excellent Porns
The first thing you’ll see when you pull up VEPorns is, you guessed it, a bunch of porn. The screencaps don’t move when you hover over them, but they’re all crisp, professional shots from big studios. Brazzers, Mofos, BangBros, and RealityKings are just a few of the recognizable names on the front page. It may be free, but you’re not getting off-brand bitches jerking dicks behind a 7-11 for meth money. This is the good stuff.
The Pornstars page lists around 9,000 pornstars, a lot of the faces and racks you’ll recognize. You can browse them by Featured sluts or in alphabetical order. There’s no easy way to search the list by hair color, tit size, or other attributes. The picture menu is appetizing as hell and should be more than enough for most monkey-spankers.
A page of categories lists studios along with depraved acts like Threesome and Anal. There’s Squirting, Public, and Hardcore, but fetish freaks will feel left out. There’s no Fetish niche, nor do they fuck with any kind of bondage, feet, or leather clips.
That said, VE Porns has content from a lot of sites. You’re bound to find some really kinky stuff if you use the search function. Tranny ain’t a category, but the search bar can find a few chicks with dicks for you.
You know, I’m not complaining or anything, but I’m not fully convinced VEPorns has permission to post all the smut in their collection. If you click the Upload button, you get a form to enter the video you want, and the message, “We are working hard. You can make any video request.” That’s not usually how this shit works.
Another hint that VEPorns might not be on the up-and-up was the fact that videos usually have a mirror or two in addition to a mobile version. That’s something you see on those sites with streaming versions of current blockbusters, filmed on somebody’s iPhone in the theater.
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- so much fucking spam