Legal Porno? Hey, pal. You looking for totally legit double penetration movies? How about fully aboveboard airtight orgies? I also know where to find some licit squirting flicks and lawful anal gaping films. You look like a real upstanding citizen, so I can tell you only want to see teens getting stretched out by multiple dongs in filthy porno movies that are completely within the law. Leave the other stuff to the hooligans with their switchblade knives, curse words, and tattoos. What you’re looking for is something along the lines of LegalPorno.
What’s in a (Totally Legal) Name?
I’m going to be honest with you. The first time somebody sent me the link to LegalPorno.com, I cleared my chat log and then microwaved my hard drive. The vast majority of porno on the Internet is legal, so to put it in the name like that makes me think something is maybe a little fishy. An undercover cop posing as a premium escort once told me it was totally legal for me to pay her for a blowjob and golden shower. Well, as soon as money changed hands all I bought was a one-way ticket to the sex offender database.
I’m a curious motherfucker, though, so when the URL kept coming up, I decided to take a look. At first glance, it looks like your basic free tube setup. There is a big grid of porno thumbnails that move if you hover your mouse over them, and goddamn this is some dirty shit.
The clips are initially sorted by Recommended, and it seems like LegalPorno knows exactly what I like. The first thumbnail has a bitch in fishnets down on her hands and knees and another bitch in fishnets sticking her whole goddamn foot up floor girl’s butthole. The next one promises a teen who “squirts nonstop” while being fucked by a room full of dudes. There’s interracial DP, BDSM orgies full of roughly crammed holes and tight straps, and acrobatic little teen nymphos doing double anal penetration.
- absolutely filthy hardcore pornography
- regular hd updates from multiple studios
- membership or individual clip purchases
- convoluted pricing scheme
- “free” movies aren’t free